My Heart Will Go On
by bookwormgal2009
Summary: Elrond grieves on the anniversary of Celebrian's sailing. His children are there to comfort him.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, they belong to Tolkien.

** My Heart Will Go On **

She was gone. His silver queen, and reason for living, was gone forever. For Elrond Peredhel knew his beloved wife Celebrian would never again walk among the peoples of Middle-earth. Even before her sailing he had lost her, for the orcs had stolen away her laughter and the sparkle in her eyes. The breaking of her heart had led to the breaking of his. In Valinor she would find the healing she needed; he must continue on, hiding the pain in his heart until he faded or the ring of power was destroyed and he was able to sail.

Elrond wanted nothing more than to sail for Valinor on the next ship available, but duty and his children kept him here. Of course he loved his children, but his love for Celebrian was different. She had been his rock, his greatest confidant. She was the one who comforted him when the sorrows of this world caused him to despair. It was she who led him away from the Last Homely House when he had exhausted himself once again. Her very smile and sparkling eyes could ease away all tension and make him pause to thank Eru for all he had. Without her the world was a dark place with little hope for the future. How could he go on without his guiding light?

The answer came to Elrond as he sat staring unseeing into the fire on the anniversary of his beloved's sailing. Her favorite blanket covered his legs and he held her silver locket in his hands, fingering it lovingly as tears streamed down his face. It was not often the half-elf allowed himself to give into his sorrows, but tonight he let the tears fall. Tonight he would let his heartbreak, though tomorrow he would pretend to be whole. But for now this was a time for bittersweet tears; for though his heart grieved, hers was finding healing in the undying lands.

A light knock sounded on the door but Elrond ignored it. He could not bring himself to receive the words of comfort he knew Glorfindel and Erestor would offer. Tonight he wanted only to grieve.

The door opened despite this, and Elrond's three children walked in. One look at her father's pale and glistening face and Arwen ran to him, throwing her arms about him and her own tears began to fall. Elrond smiled sadly at his little Evenstar and wiped the tears gently with his finger.

"Do not cry my Undomiel," Elrond whispered as Elladen and Elrohir came to stand on either side of him. She knelt on the floor beside his chair and took his hands. "You cry Ada."

"It is not only for your Naneth I cry this night."

"Do not cry for Naneth, Ada," Elladen whispered and Elrohir continued. "She is finding her healing. She will know no pain."

Elrond nodded, though the tears continued to fall. "I know this my sons. I do not cry for her; I know she is happy know and her soul is finding healing. I weep for myself because I miss her; and I cry that there is such evil in the world that she had to leave. And I weep for you, my children."

"Surely there is still some good, Ada. Not all hope has been lost." Arwen said firmly. For though her heart ached and she knew must leave Imladris, she knew that somehow hope would find them again.

"If there is still hope in Middle earth I have not foreseen it." His voice was so fall of despair the twins glanced at each other in concern.

"Please do not give up Ada," Arwen pleaded. "I could not bear it if you began to fade!"

Elrond squeezed her hand. "There is no fear of that. The Valar would not release me so easily. Nay dear daughter, I am bound to this world for many more years. I have foreseen a new evil, but it is so great I think there is little chance for any to prevail against it."

His words were met with silence for several moments before Elrohir gently grasped his father's hand and helped him to his feet. "You should rest Ada. It has been a long and sad day. But tomorrow is a new one, and there is always hope in each new day."

Elrond shook his head but he allowed himself to be led to his room. Elrohir held his right hand while Elladen wrapped his arm around his shoulder and Arwen held onto his left hand. It was an awkward way to walk, but the Peredhel wanted their father to feel their closeness, to know that they were with him and though they must do different things in this world, they were always with him and he was never alone.

Once they had entered Elrond's rooms the lord of Imladris went to change into his sleeping tunic and took a short bath while Arwen turned down his bed and Elladen stoked the fire, which had long since died away. Elrohir went to the kitchens to fetch his father's favorite tea.

When Elrond emerged a short time later he was surprised to find his children still there. It almost brought a fresh wave of tears, but he swallowed them back. What wonderful children and daily reminders of the love he and Celebrian had shared. He climbed into the bed and Arwen tucked the covers around him before draping Celebrian's blanket over him as well. Elrohir brought the tea over and smiled.

"It is chamomile." He didn't mention the fact he'd added a small amount of sleeping herbs, hoping his father would sleep through the night. Elrond accepted the tea with a trembling hand and for a moment he could only stare into the cup, unable to hold the tears back any more. "I love you my children."

"We love you as well Ada." Arwen said as she planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Naneth loved you too Ada," Elrohir told him quietly. "But I think a fate worse than fading awaited her if she had stayed. Be at peace knowing she is healing and will be made whole once more."

Elladen smiled at his father. "The next time you see her she will be as she once was. No more will the orcs haunt her dreams…or yours."

"You give me the hope I though lost my children," Elrond whispered in a shaky voice. "And though my heart breaks, because of you I shall go on living."

For the first time in many nights, Elrond slept without nightmares.

Just a short little something that came to me the other day. Hope you like it!


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